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| Saw this on someone else's facebook and it looked like fun.
[X ]I have eaten more than 5 meals a day.
[X] I have read a lot of books.
[ X] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[X] I have been to Canada.
[X] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[X] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[ ] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs. (what counts as *entire*?)
[X] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[X ] I have played ping pong.
[X ] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[X ] I have seen fireworks.
[X] I have seen a shooting star.
[ ] I have seen a meteor shower. (I wants to see one! Lots and lots and then some)
[X] I have almost drowned.
[X] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[X] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again.
[ ] I have had stitches.
[X] I have been on the honor roll.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there
[X]I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[X] I currently have a job.
[X] I have been ice skating.
[X] I have been rollerblading.
[X] I have fallen flat on my face.
[X] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[X] I have been in a fist fight.
[X] have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[X] I have watched the power rangers.
[X] I do/did attend Church regularly.
[X] I have played truth or dare.
[X] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[X] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[X] I've lost weight since one year ago.
[X] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[X] I've been in a verbal argument.
[X] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[X] I've done dance on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track team.
[X] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[X] I've climbed a rock wall.
[X] I've lost more than $20.
[X] I've called myself an idiot.
[X] I've called someone else an idiot.
[X]I've cried myself to sleep.
[X] I've had (or have) pets.
[X] I've owned a Spice Girls cd.
[X] I've owned a Britney Spears cd.
[X] I've owned an *NSYNC cd.
[X] I've owned a backstreet boys cd.
[ ] I've mooned someone.
[X] I've sworn at someone in authority.
[X] I've been in the newspaper.
[X] I've been on TV
[X] I've been to Hawaii.
[X] I've eaten sushi.
[X] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[X] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[X]I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[ ] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[X] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker.
[X] I've been called a geek.
[X] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[X] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[ ] I've hugged my mom with the past 24 hours.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[X] Ive met a celebrity/music artist.
[X] I've written poetry.
[ ] Ive been attracted to someone much older than me.
[X] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[X] I've had/have siblings.
[X] Ive been to a rock concert.
[X] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[X] I've been in a play.
[X]I've been picked last in gym class.
[X] I've been picked first in gym class.
[X] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[X] I've cried in front of my friends.
[X] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[X] I've played Halo 2.
[ ] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[X] I've been to Alaska.
[X] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[X] I've had a fight with someone on AIM
[X] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[X] I've had serious converstations on an IM.
[X] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me
[ ] I've been forgiven.
[X] I've screamed at a scary movie. and jumped... and cried... and whimpered...
[X] I've cried at a chick flick
[X] I've laughed at a scary movie
[X] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[X] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
Wow there are stories to every X..... hahahahahaha
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| So this is a dream I've been having lately. I'm not asking for any analysis, I just thought of the reoccurring dreams one could have this is one of the more awesome.
So I'm kneeling in the snow in this very plain purple nightgown shivering and completely disoriented. I know I'm dead, that what I'm in is some sort of afterlife, but no idea why there is so much cold and snow. I finally manage the strength to stand up and there in front of me with the warmest smile is this old man in a brown cloak he hands me a bow and an arrow and tells me "choose." I turn around and i see two things coming my direction at fairly high speeds from very far away. I gather that I am supposed to shoot one. I suppose it's assumed in the dream that I would actually be able to hit anything with a bow and arrow even though I've only taken archery twice ever. I squint into the glare of the snow trying to make out what these two objects are so that I can tell which one i'm supposed to shoot down and I hear a whisper behind me and feel the warmth of a familiar embrace tell me "don't look, just shoot, your heart knows." I take a deep breath, enjoying the warmth and the safety of the breath against my neck, knowing that I am safe, that this is my guardian, I knock the arrow and shoot. I see a figure fall and scream and as the scream hits me I realize it is my own from hundreds of feet away, my knees go weak and the embrace is now the only thing holding me up, I can't breathe, my whole chest is heavy and the world is spinning. The second figure now from the distance picks up speed toward me, it is a tiger with the most alarmingly black eyes. She stares directly into me and places a large paw against my chest and presses down even harder. I want to cry out but the lack of breath makes it completely impossible instead i cough and something gets caught in my throat. The tiger pushes again and i cough harder working with her now, understanding that she was pushing something out of me. The arms around me slip down to my stomach to help hold me up and allow me to cough down to the ground as blood starts to trickle from my mouth and out comes a dead cat with a thorny black egg shaped thing stuck in its side. The cat was a sad looking thing, patches of fur missing, bite marks, scars, it looked drowned and broken and I knew at once it was, that it was not my arrow that killed it but mearly let it finally die. One last cough and I can feel my insides heal over where the thing had passed with a warm burn. The tigress snorts and sets both the dead cat and egg thing which sets it aflame. I whisper over my shoulder to my guardian "is that what i shot?" He nodds and I can feel him smile at my understanding. The tigress growls for me to watch as the black thing broke into bits of ash, watching sceens of what i've been through the pains and the abuses I suffered in that life time appear in the flame and then dissapear in smoke. The black thing has become more tar like now, shining in the heat and I can see something from the inside struggling to be free of it. I can't describe the noiseses coming out but they were painful and sorrowful yet fierce. Suddenly there is a tear in the tar which then created for itself arms in one last attempt to keep this thing inside it, trying to cover over this tear desperate to keep from losing its prisoner. After what seems a forever struggle from the tar and ash out comes a jade pheonix. Still standing in the carcass of the cat with the tar doing what it could to hold fast to it and to the body the pheonix mewed and yowelled to which the tigress roared in response. The pheonix then stretched out her neck and opened her mouth and from it flew the most beautiful and delicate cat-pixi. Mostly human looking, but with a cat's ears and tail in a dress as deep green that the pheonix's jade feathers. This pixi streched her whole body, wings and all to grow to be about a foot in height singing the happiest song of freedom I've ever heard. The pheonix then looked directly at me and somehow bid me to come to her. I took a step away from my guardian toward the pyre with the magnificent bird standing in it. I was afraid of the black tar still desperately trying to stretch, to escape the flames but that was now caught in the grasp of the pheonix and could do nothing. All around the pheonix i could still see flashes, images of my own life burning away. As the tar creature burned away and shrank so the pheonix grew. She dipped her head down and touched my right side and i felt a seering pain like fire, hot blades scraping against my skin and then a soothing coolness like lotion. I knew without looking that she had placed her image on my skin. The cat and the tar were all ash now, even the fire was starting to fade with nothing more to burn. The pheonix stretched her magnificent green wings and flew far beyond what I could see, taking all the ash with her leaving nothing but the beautiful snow and the tattoo reminder in my skin. I turned again to see the old man and my guardin standing there they held out to me clothes which i thankfully put on but just before i could get my coat on the pixi flew straight at me at a diving speed and crashed into my chest in a sparkling explosion. I could see myself for a few moments through other eyes covered head to toe in sparkles and felt and understood that this pixi was my heart self, the self of me that I could see if only i was willing to look that she had been freed when i was freed and that if i learned how i could fly with those same wings. With that, sparkling still I set off down a path with my guardian and my tigress at my sides.
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Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty -- Samantha Mumba
[Verse 1:]
I don't need you to
Tell me i'm pretty to make me feel beautiful
I don't need you to
Give me your strength to make me feel i'm strong
I got all of this strength that I need here
inside my own two hands
All that I want is your love and respect for who I am
What I really need
Comes from deep inside of me
[Chorus:]
Don't need you to tell me i'm pretty to make me feel beautiful
Don't need you to make me strong cuz i'm strong all on my own
Doesn't come from outside
This beauty I know
Comes from inside my soul
Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty
[Verse 2:]
I don't need you to
Believe in me to make me know im worth believing in
I don't need you to
Lift me up high to know I can stand tall ( I can stand tall)
[Bridge:]
I can stand my own ground
I can stand proud upon my own two feet
Don't have to be part of somebody else
To be complete
What I really need
Comes from deep inside of me
[Chorus]
[Verse 3:]
Don't need to come to you for...confirmation
Because I finally found too...this revelation
What I really need ( what I really need)
Im gonna find inside of me (find inside of me)
Not in somebody else
Respect...comes when you respect yourself
[Chorus]
[Verse 4:]
Don't need you to tell me i'm pretty to make me feel beautiful
Don't need you to lift me up, i can stand up on my own
Doesn't come from outside
This beauty I know (I know)
Comes from inside my soul
Don't need you to tell me i'm pretty to know i'm beautiful | | |
| Yah, so just found out that the camp that I adore and have been to since i was a tyke has decided that we aren't going to do rock climbing any more. This is pretty much the one time a year that i rock climb, mostly because i don't get my ass out to the rock climbing places but still. No rock climbing this year, I'm kinda sad...
BAAYF is the basis of my faith, it is my mountian top experiance that last year and the year before i did not attend despite my desire to. I'm curious to see what will happen when i'm up there, every year its something, every year i find myself surrounded by the presence of God and never in the same way twice.
With all that's happened this last year I'm excited and afraid. I'm also jazzed that i get to bring Zoe along to the place where I find God, there is something kinda fufilling about that. I wonder what she'll see that I haven't or what through her eyes I will be able to glimpse as we are there.
I'm not a counsler this year, or a camper, or even a tag-a-long as i once was. My roles keep changing as I enter what i consider to be a holy place. This year, this time, i am just a helping hand, a floater. I'll be doing whatever little jobs here and there necessary and if like a few years past there is a run on counslers i will be the extra and if there isn't i will be helper to all counslers, and to the "dean of women."
Still all in all i'm excited. ^^ | | |
| Random realization, while looking at photos of myself, even ones from a while back that before i couldn't really look at because of how critical i was of myself I've realized, i'm actually kinda pretty. I've never been able to say that before. | | |
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